Small penises have feelings too.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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