no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
