Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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