dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You can't special order awesome
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
