dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
