found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
