I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
