Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
