I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
