Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
