i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
