Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize