their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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