I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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