i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
