you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
pray to the hookup gods
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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