Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize