hell yes lets make some ravioli
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
