i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
