Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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