I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
