Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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