Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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