Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize