Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
