Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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