Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
