Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
