i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
