did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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