Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
