i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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