Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
