I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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