My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
