i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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