Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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