thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
