I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
