Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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