i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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