You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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