Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
