I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
