I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
