This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
