I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
