Please, let me fuck your mom
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
