The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
