Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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