But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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