I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
