Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
