The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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