There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's just like the Real World with babies
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
