I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
