There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
no you cant smoke seaweed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
