I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
