Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
