dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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