I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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