This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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