Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Even my vagina gasped.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
