There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize