I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
