she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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