the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
vagina is talking i cant
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
