went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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