dude i'm inner monologue high
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
